If you haven’t already heard of the Duggar family from their show on the Discovery Channel, or from other various and sundry news reports that pop up every time Mr. & Mrs. Fecundity drop a new child into the world (every nine months), then let me sum it up for you: they’re a family of Quiverfulls, fundamentalist Christians that believe it’s their responsibility to keep having sex without protection and raise as many children as that lifestyle produces. Meanwhile, they dress like the polygamists from Texas and creep out just about everyone they meet. It seems like only yesterday that I was reading some puff piece about her 17th child; now it’s up to 18:

The Duggar kids planned a big Mother’s Day surprise for their mom this year. But the surprise was on them when Michelle Duggar announced on the TODAY Show that they were soon to welcome an 18th sibling.

“We’re expecting!” the happy mother told TODAY co-host Meredith Vieira and the entire Arkansas clan. “Number 18!


Joshua, the Duggars’ eldest son, said the news, two days before Mother’s Day was “a shock” — if only to a point.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” the 20-year-old said. “But it’s been nine months [since the birth of the last baby], so yeah.”

I love the eldest son’s reaction: oh, right, it’s been the minimum possible amount of time since her last pregnancy, so of course she’s got another bun in the oven. You think maybe young Joshua is starting to get the feeling that his family is nuts?

But because they say that God told them to keep squirting out babies, then it’s all right. And they’ll keep doing it until they have another miscarriage due to the monstrous abuse of her vagina. But that one won’t be God’s fault.

See “Multiply and Conquer” at Bitch magazine for more good stuff.

§2062 · May 12, 2008 · Tags: , ·

6 Comments to “Eighteen children is not cute”

  1. Jamie says:

    Yeah, I love that he would be AT ALL surprised by this. It’s not like he himself is the beginning of a pretty strong trend upon which to base predictions, is it?

  2. Conor says:

    I think Joshua’s reaction can be likened to our own. I, for instance, upon reading this post, thought “Goddamn that’s a freaky thing to do.” Immediately thereafter I thought, “Yup, that’s them fundies for ya.”

    I can’t tell whether the hyperlink in “Quiverfulls” was supposed to leave out the S, but if so, I hate you for being so anal.

  3. Ben says:

    I purposely excluded the “s” because the title of the article is not the plural form. Parity.

  4. Ben says:

    Did someone say something about anal retentiveness?

  5. Conor says:

    I remember the anal expulsive post! Horribly.

    Speaking of retentive anuses, I don’t believe your CSS declares black as the font color for the comment form. Once comments are displayed it’s swell, but not during composition.

  6. Ben says:

    Well, no…. it inherits #111111 from the body…

    Why, what does it look like for you?

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