Somebody apparently keeps a dynamic list of choice quotes from batshit-crazy religious nuts from forums across the globe. Some are worse than others.

My favorite? The flat-earther:

What is called ‘Science’ today and ‘scientists’ consist of the same old gang of witch doctors, sorcerers, tellers of tales, the ‘Priest-Entertainers’ for the common people. ‘Science’ consists of a weird, way-out occult concoction of jibberish theory-theology… nothing good has ever come from ‘science’ — In fact, technology is not in any way related to the web of idiotic scientific theory. ALL inventors have been anti-science. The Wright brothers said: “Science theory held us up for years. When we threw out all science, started from experiment and experience, then we invented the airplane.” By the way, airplanes all fly level on this Plane earth!

The Fact the Earth is Flat is not my opinion, it is a Proved Fact! While all we need to know is that the Bible says the Earth is flat (Is.40:22, Ez.7:2, Dn.2:35; 4:10-11,20, Mt.4:8)… but for a second can you imagine what these so-called ‘scientists would have us believe — If the earth really was round, that would mean there arre people who are HANGING DOWN, HEAD DOWNWARDS while we are standing head up? But since the theory allows to travel to those parts of the earth where the people are said to hand head downward, and still to fancy ourselves to be heads upwards, and our friends whom we have left behind us to be heads downwards! LOL! What foolishness! TheWHOLE THING IS A MYTH – A DREAM – A DELUSION – and a snare, and, instead of there being any evidence at all in this direction to substantiate this popular theory, it is plain proof that the Earth is Not A Globe!

Also, be sure to know the Sun and Moon are about 3,000 miles away are both 32 miles across. The Planets are ‘tiny.’ Sun and Moon do Move, earth does NOT move, whirl, spin or gyrate (1 Sam.2:8, 1 Chr.16:30; Job 9:6, 38:4-6; Ps.96:10, 104:5, Is.13:10, Mic.6:2). Australians do NOT hang by their feet under the world… this is a FACT, not a theory! Also a Fact the Spinning, Whirling, Gyrating Ball World Planet, Globe Idea is Entirely 100% now and at all times in the Past, a RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE… a Blind Dogmatic Article of Faith in the Religion for the Blind unreasoning beast of prey. No earthly reason for a Sane, Upright Member of the Elite True Christians to subscribe to it. Also a Fact, today the Elite of Earth ALL live on the Flat World. Only the illogical, unreasoning “herd”… prefers the way-out occult weird theology of the old Greek superstitution earth a spinning ball! Both Copernecious and Newton, the inventors of the “modern” superstitions (400 year OLD modern) have said: “It is not possible for a Sane reasonable person to ever really believe these Theories.” Thus sayeth Newton-Copernecious. What sayeth THOU?

Or the KJV blowhard:

The word of God has been in heaven forever. The KJV has always been there. The so called Hebrew words like Alleluia are English words. The English did not borrow them from the Hebrew but rather the Hebrew borrowed them from the English. If the KJV has always been there and is the original word of God then there is no other conclusion. The same can be said for any so called Greek words that were borrowed from the Greek or transliterated. It is a matter of what bias you approach this particular subject.

Oh the humanity.

§1955 · January 13, 2008 · Tags: , , ·

11 Comments to “These people scare me”

  1. Ivoguard says:

    If you don’t mind my asking, are you Christian?

    I am RC myself but these are stupid stupid people.

  2. Ben says:

    RC is Reformed Christian.

    I am a Christian myself (and a sort of fundamentalist as well), and it seems clear that people who forget what is truly important (love, grace, Godliness, justice) often get inflated about some hobby horse. In the movement I have been involved with it is that KJV issue. I read from the NASB because it’s a better translation. But in the end, they are all translations. God inspired the originals and we just translate them. That’s all there is to it.

    Please don’t judge God by the idiocy of some of his followers.

  3. Ben says:

    No I take that back. These are not God’s followers. These are people who follow their own ideas and attribute them to God. God didn’t have anything to do with it. =) lol

    God said in the Bible that "in the later times, men will be lovers of themselves." That they would "deceive themselves." Who am I to judge their standing with God? But, their own words do a lot of judging. Read for yourself… =)

  4. Ben says:

    hehe… Let me define. I am not a "fundie". But I believe that the Bible is true in its entirety. Thus I say I am a fundamentalist (lowercase f). I don’t blow up buildings and I believe that if we really are Christians, people should know by our love for others.

    I do not believe that morons can say that the earth is flat. The Bible does not say this. This is someone trying to use the Bible’s authority to communicate his own delusions.

  5. Conor says:

    Thumbs up Ben, glad there is yet a legion of sane individuals holding down the loony bin. Sorry so many conflate whackjob flat-earthers with the rest of the Christian world. (I do not exclude myself from the list of people who mix the two groups up from time to time.)

    Quotes were a blast to read.

  6. Ben says:

    Ben,

    I’m always a little confused by people who hold up the KJV as the most authoritative. The most poetic? Sure. I think the tendency is to attach authority to its resonant antiquity–i.e. “This was my father’s translation, and his father’s translation, and his father’s translation” and so on all the way back to 1611.

    In terms of its accuracy, the best case for it is that it’s no better than NIV; at worst, it’s a notably inferior translation.

  7. Ivoguard says:

    RC = Roman Catholic

  8. Jeff says:

    I like the one where the person has a list of bullet points arguing against evolution and one of them is "how come we cant speak monkey."

  9. Conor says:

    @Jeff: I’d never thought of that before, actually. But it’s brilliant. I mean, why can’t we speak monkey?

    I think I just became a flat-earther.

  10. Ben says:

    Thanks Ivoguard. Sorry about that.

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