Despite initially labeling liberals “sore losers” for our weeping, gnashing of teeth, and self-flagellation on November 3rd, it didn’t take long for some ignoramus dye himself a “sore winner.” Not even a smart one, at that. I realize that things like these don’t speak for everyone, but I know people like Limbaugh would agree with every word. The piece takes the form of a series of memos to so-called liberals.
To Michael Moore: Sit down and shut up… And do something about your hair. And the ball cap.
Cosmetic arguments are only funny in political satire. Otherwise, it just makes you look ignorant. Besides which, I’m a little irritated by conservatives up in arms about Michael Moore. If you don’t think someone like Ann Coulter is a flailing caricature of the hysterical Right, then you have no business saying anything about Moore. The only thing he’s done is take an approach the Right has used for years (Limbaugh) and insert Leftist ideology. So when conservatives criticise Michael Moore by saying “He’s dishonest!” what they mean is “I don’t agree with him. And he’s fat.”
To the DNC: Your platform must not have lurched far enough to the left. Keep it tilting southpaw. Read more Marx. P.S. Keep insulting the voters with your moral and intellectual condescension too. It goes well with that warp speed registering of folks in plaid wool blankets pushing shopping carts. Lovely constituency.
Well, they got something right. The Democrats comprised too much these last four years, trying to emulate Bush’s approach of at least appearing to be a centrist.
To Bill Clinton: Thanks for hitting the campaign trail for Kerry. Some of us needed a reminder of what we were trying to avoid.
As if Clinton did anything but increase Kerry’s numbers. You think any voters said to themselves “Well, I was going to vote for Kerry, but now that I remember that he and Bill Clinton are both in the same political party, I’m too disgusted to vote democrat.” Kerry and Clinton are essentially polar opposites anyway. Clinton is more like Howard Dean.
To George Soros: Want to buy an election? Not in *MY* America, you monomaniacal, socialistic buffoon.
Because donating lots of money to a political party is buying an election, right? And Republicans never get large donations from corporate interests. I also love how the author refers to “*MY* America,” because their guy winning the election endows them with as much power…
To the Mainstream Media: Congratulations on getting Kerry at least thirty more electoral votes than he would have gotten without your covert support. Imagine how badly he would have lost if you were actually unbiased.
Are there people who still actually believe this? I’ll bet they think about it while watching Fox News, which, being owned and run by heavily-conservative Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes and having a documented history of intentional bias, is the only source for non-communist news.
To Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, Robert Scheer, and your minor league imitators, Greg Plast [sic] and Mark Morford: you have no red states readers.
I’ll skip the obvious joke and simply say, “Duh.”
To Ron Reagan “Junior:” Do you have talent for anything? Nexxxxxxxxxxxxxxt…?
You’re just mad because he’s not of the same political orientation as his dad, your Messiah.
To Teresa HEINZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Kerry: teaching is a real job. The Teachers Union, who supported your husband, can clarify any continuing confusion. Oh, and it’s not a “real job” to sleep with a third generation ketchup heir and then cash the plane crash check.
First of all, she obviously didn’t realize at the time that Laura had been a teacher. Does anybody think a presidential candidate’s wife is going to insult all teachers on purpose? As to the ridiculous personal attack: it doesn’t even merit response. It’s no more than mean-spirited invective by someone who is way too swept up in their polemic.
To Terry McAuliffe: See message for Dan Rather. And pay a little attention to what Zell Miller reminds us of: 20 Democratic senators from the south in 1960 and only six from the GOP. Today, 22 Republicans and four Dems.
I agree. Terry McAuliffe was a waste of space. Oh, and Zell Miller doesn’t remind us of anything except maybe a Nazi rally. Whoever wrote this was apparently not old enough to have experienced or not interested enough to research the political situation of the 1960s. Democrats then are not Democrats now. That’s like saying the Republican party of Lincoln is the same as the Republican party of George W. Bush (which, sadly enough, has been done).
And finally, to John Kerry: Thank you for reporting for duty. You are hereby dismissed.
Or…. not?
I will never understand some people. This is one of those.