our last orison bleakens shortly,
bleakens shortly milching clover,
brier;
coiled clover, shortly brier
bathes in dirty brine,
the milching brine.

the spiral twists and peels,
the knots roiling,
twisting tired; kink;
the hoses clamp,
peeling bare the rusty plug;
kink.

his father dims the filament,
dims thinly breaking bulbs;
stems;
sleeting glass, slightly dimming;
thinning wire;
the breaking father.

the autumn waltzes solemnly,
the dancing gold.
solemnly the breeze,
the freezing waltz; falling;
the golden brier dining,
twisting wire;
the dying dancing father.

kink.

§420 · November 10, 2004 · (No comments) · Tags:

(I’ve resurrected this thread in honour of Firefox’s 1.0 release)

Get Firefox!

Get yourself a better browser. If you’re still using Internet Explorer, you need to know that the United States government, Slate (Microsoft Network’s tech zine), more or less every security group in existence, and most of the computer experts on the net advocate using a different browser.

Opera costs money, Netscape is bulky. Mozilla Firefox is an open-source, completely free, lightning-fast browser for every popular computing platform. Do yourself a favor and download it today. Version 1.0 has now come out.

§392 · November 9, 2004 · 5 comments · Tags: ,

{A look at quantum physics and eastern mysticism}

get the PDF; revised 11 September 2005

Science and religion have always fulfilled the roles of archnemeses, the former a heathenous pursuit of reason at the expense of righteousness, the latter a blind capitulation to superstition and a forfeiture of personal liberties. They have clashed since the age of Galileo, when observation contradicted scripture (or, more accurately, the word of the Church), and clash even unto this day with feuds regarding creationism and bioethics, and the subtle injection of Christian values into the secular government. It seems as though the spirituality of the western and middle eastern world (read: Judeo-Christian-Islamic god of Abraham) is completely irreconcilable with scientific thought, perhaps not so much by the absence of mutual evidence, but by starkly different methodologies of belief. As has often been pointed out to me, freedom from a hierarchical or divisive dogma is not equatable to complete atheism, which is another topic entirely. The question becomes this: should I and can I embrace spirituality and science concomitantly? Read more…

§413 · November 8, 2004 · 2 comments · Tags: ,

With all the ballyhoo in the last week with the election, I haven’t had much time to reflect upon all the things going on in my life. So rather than a political rant, here’s my life recently:

On the 28th of October, I celebrated my 2-year anniversary with my girlfriend, Allison. I already wrote about that. But two days later, we sojourned north to the Brookfield Zoo. It was a bit chilly (cloudy and windy, too), but the fall leaves were gorgeous. I didn’t remember the Brookfield Zoo at all, since I haven’t been there since probably grade school. My most vivid zoo memories come from the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, NE, where I’ve gone more times. The worst thing about the experience was all the kids, whose parents dolled them up in costumes and prodded the little brats through the exhibits. Some of them were kind of cute, like the drooly, sleeping babies in lion costumes, but others, the three and four year olds in ninja costumes chasing the peacock with plastic swords while the parents gave a disinterested “Tim, stop that…” before giving up.

Me and a gorilla a photo of me with the butt end of a gorilla statue. I doubt they intended it to be used for this sort of photo op. On a side note, my hands are as big as a full-grown male gorilla.

I was so bummed yesterday by the results of the election, I went ahead and splurged on a new computer part for myself (women eat chocolate, I buy electronics). I’d been meaning to buy it anyway, but like any case where I have to spend money, I’m tighter than a snare drum. Anyway, it’s a super-fast 300gb hard drive which I will use for video storage. I’ve been mapping out the new configuration I’m going to use for optimal performance. This will be my fifth hard drive, for a total of (technically) 736gb of storage space. Believe it or not, I need it. I currently have something like 130gb of video, 90+gb of audio, 80gb of games, applications, documents, and images, and about 15gb of operating and program files. That’s not counting the continuous influx every day.

I’m enjoying work as much as ever. When I first started, the days crawled by, and I only worked about 15 hours a week. Now, I’m working 20 hours a week, and I’m unhappy that hours for student workers are capped at that amount. I’d like to work more. As it stands, the most I can do is work extra to accrue a sort of poor man’s paid vacation. I use this sort of thing to take days off or get “paid” for work holidays.

During fall break, I drove south to hang out with Abou at Illinois State. It’s a nice campus, but like any college campus during the day, there’s not a whole lot to do. He, his hairy friend Don, and I spent much of the morning at the local coffeehouse, heckling Abou about his romantic interests and discussing Plato at length. Also, I spent a fair amount of money on CDs, since one of the nicer music shops there had a fair amount of post rock and other good music. Abou eyed a nice vinyl of ELP’s Pictures at an Exhibition but abstained from buying it until he could give my digital version a dedicated listen.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of problems with my video card lately. In February, I bought a top-of-the-line-but-soon-not-to-be Asus 9800XT. Recently, I noticed that the on-card fans stopped spinning, leaving the card burning hot to the touch. I got a replacement from NewEgg, and shortly thereafter noticed that the new one did the same thing. This time, I’m getting a lesser model and will mod it to 9800XT specifications. Hopefully, I won’t experience anymore problems, although I’ve been rather disappointed in general with ATi and ATi-reference products. ImmaculateZion had problems with two separate X800Pro cards, eventually settling for the same model I will be ordering.

Why is this important? Half-Life 2 is coming in out a scant 12 days. Possibly before, if the release groups have their way. I’ve been waiting since 9/03 for this, and I’m practically messing myself in anticipation.

My brother is still in Costa Rica, but enjoying himself. Personally, I could never handle being away from my computer for an extended period of time, but it’s cool with him. I installed a USB2.0 card in his machine a few weeks ago, and, disgusted with the state of his software, implored him to let me reformat and reconfigure his machine when he gets back. To my great delight, he agreed, so it’s Open Source Software time, baby!

§433 · November 4, 2004 · 2 comments · Tags: ,

Our most beloved one has gone away
as we have risen, our children
dewy-eyed to sunrise, the door open.
The empty table set, the full cupboards bare;
the morning light a streak of ash:
Our Father is not there.

Our most beloved one has gone away
while we have slept; as we have dreamt
of his hands he has shown us our own.
My, how we have grown since we went to bed!
and yet, the children weep,
for he has left them alone.

Our most beloved one has gone away
and we did not see his joy at leaving,
early in the morning hours,
when the daylight also hides.
His footsteps were not dark with anger,
his eyes not bright with tears;
and yet the children cry for him,
no longer at their side.

Our most beloved one has gone away,
and we did not watch him leave.
the light not warm, our beds not soft,
our hearts are rife with grief.
the sombre children hearthside,
the sky still dark above,
the sun in deference having stayed below.
Our most beloved one is gone;
we did not need his love.

§432 · November 4, 2004 · (No comments) · Tags: