On the day of the year when Americans give thanks for having the luxury of eating themselves further into the rest of obesity (the ones that can afford it, anyway), I think it’s only fitting to talk about the true testament to our culinary excess: novelty burgers.
The Messenger-Inquirer (motto: So good, we needed two nouns) writes about the burger to end all burgers.
If you’re a big eater — and have the appetite of a termite — you need to head up to Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, Pa., and order Ye Olde 96er.
Take along plenty of cash because Ye Olde 96er doesn’t come cheap. This cheeseburger retails for $23.95. What makes it so special? The size. You see, 96er refers to the weight of the thing. That’s 96 ounces. Six pounds of meat.
When you add the fixins, the weight of this thing goes up to nine pounds.
See, the fixins include a large onion, two whole tomatoes, a half a head of lettuce, 1 1/4 pounds (12 slices) of American cheese, buns, a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, relish, banana peppers and some pickles.
But I found a Web site where some health nut did the calculations. I have no idea if this is correct, but here’s the guesstimation:
Calories, 11,818; fat, 760 grams; saturated fat, 274 grams; polyunsaturated fat, 143 grams; monounsaturated fat, 273 grams; carbs, 487 grams; fiber, 41 grams; and protein, 752 grams.
Mmm…. 12’000 calories…..