A Modest Construct

With all due credit to George Carlin.

• People who get emotionally invested in high school football games.
• People who think female empowerment and sexual empowerment are the same thing.
• People who think sexual empowerment and exhibitionism are the same thing.
• People who drive SUVs in the city.
• Men who wear Speedo underwear, or worse, men who wear Speedos to the swimming pool.
• Anyone who believes the Atkins diet will have no harmful consequences.
• Internet users who substitute letters for short words, such as “r u there, m8?”
• Christians who believe the most important part of Jesus’s martyrdom to be his suffering.
• 12-year-old girls who wear short skirts and tanktops.
• Straight men who hang out in lesbian chat rooms.
• People who send unsolicited e-mail about SPAM blocking programs.
• Anyone who believes rap music to be valid iconography for black culture.
• Philosophy majors.
• Vice presidents.
• Poor people with really nice shoes.
• Anyone who believes Kurt Cobain had something important to say.
• Mac users (Sorry, Andy)
• Mothers who let their kids run wild in public
• Large woman in shirts than don’t entirely cover their stomachs.
• People who say “Correctamundo.”
• Whatever shortsighted twits decided that it’s alright to let kids kill foreigners at 18, but not drinks beers for another three years.
• Smokers who sue the tobacco industry because they “didn’t know it caused cancer.”
• Country music fans.

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